apathy toward hope

mark 9:24
i do believe.  help my unbelief 



often times we assume that we are beyond this section of scripture. "well of course i believe God's promises", i tell myself, "God's word says that He is mighty to save, that He heals the brokenhearted, that He binds up their wounds, that He sent His only begotten Son for the WHOLE world."
but do i live and talk and interact with others as if i believe those things?

here are a couple things that i learned from this story...
1. the boy's parents were invested in his agony.
mark 9:21-22 "it has often thrown him both into the fire and into the water to destroy him. but if You can do anything, take pity on us and help us."
the help they sought was for the whole family. the dad didn't ask for Jesus to help the boy only, but to help "us".  he chose to identify with his son, not distance himself from him.
2. the boy's parents were persistent.
matthew 17: 15-16 "Lord, have mercy on my son... i brought him to your disciples..."
these parents actively engaged in the pursuit of healing for their son and rest for their family
3. they boy's parents chose Jesus.
luke 9:38 "Teacher i beg You to look at my son"
how often do i even ask God to LOOK at the people that i believe He can save, heal, redeem?

i don't often think definitively that a person or circumstance has no hope, in fact i don't think i have ever thought that. but often, i do not actively place my hope in Christ for that person or circumstance, which is essentially the same thing, just more passive. lukewarm. disinterested. dangerous. deceived.
and thats why i ignore, don't ask hard questions, don't invest in the lives of others with the depth that God calls me to. its easier not to, right?
much of my life has consisted of conversations about sobriety, dependence, codependence, fear, frustration, failure, expectations, lost hope. but seeing that i am no longer codependent, or a victim, none of that is actually the source of my apathy toward others.
if i choose to be honest with myself and with Jesus, this apathy is me not believing. i am not actively placing hope in Christ, or pleading with Him on the behalf of others. not investing in the lives of the believers and non-believers that God has put me in relationship with, and not reaching out and having hope for the people in the city i live in.

i DO have faith that God will help my unbelief.